A Letter to my Unborn Child
It's crazy how these days fly by, and being pregnant makes no exception. One day I was peeing on a stick, and here I am just a few weeks away from meeting our little one. Instead of thinking too hard on the labor and delivery part of the experience, we have spent many hours pondering on things that we want to make sure we carry out in parenting. It is difficult as there is no manual to tell you what is best (or should I say there are 5 million manuals, none of them holding all the right answers). So, I thought it best to write a letter to you, my sweet baby (boy or girl). Something that you can read one day and hopefully will make sense of some of the decisions your dad and I make that may seem like nonsense to you when you are older. After all, my mother's decision to NOT drop me off at the skating rink in middle school without any adults actually makes sense now.
Sweet Love,
We simply cannot wait to meet you. Can't wait to see what you look like, if you are a boy or a girl...can't wait to hold you and kiss you and love you like we have never loved. For all of these things, we are beyond thrilled. In anticipation for your arrival, we have some anxiety, though. This world is not always filled with rainbows and cotton candy, and that scares us for you. Here are some promises we would like to make to you, each of them with the hopes that you will thrive and be happy:
We promise to love you even when we don't like you. I am sure there are days when you will drive us crazy. Days when honestly, we don't like you very much (and I am sure the feeling will be mutual). Even on those days, we will love you. We will look at you and remember what a precious gift you are...we will remember that God saw fit for us to be yours and you to be ours, and in that moment, we will love you more than anything...even if we don't like you.
I promise to love God first, then your daddy...because that is the way it was intended to be. There will be nights when you cry for me or him as we leave you with grandma for date night...and I will probably cry then too, but I will go and I will hold my relationship with your dad sacred and my first priority. There will be times later on in life when you will think (and probably say) how disgusting we are holding hands or kissing, but we will carry on. One day you will understand how important it is for us to show you how strong our love is for each other. See, in putting each other first, we are showing you how to love unconditionally and selflessly. We are showing you that our love for each other is what allows us to be the parents we are to you. And in doing so, we are honoring God for first placing us together as a couple, and then giving us you. I can't wait to kiss your daddy a trillion times over the course of your life, and I hope you gag :) But then, one day, I hope you meet the girl or boy of your dreams and it makes all the sense in the world.
We promise to teach you kindness, for it is perhaps the most powerful tool you possess. It's not a talent, a job, or really even all that difficult, but yet it yields so many rewards. If you cannot be anything else, we want you to be kind.
We promise to teach you that nothing comes for free. I promise to help you learn to do something, but once you have learned how, we expect you do it for yourself. This is how you learn responsibility and the value of hard work. We won't allow you to sit around and do nothing and expect money, cars, good grades, and opportunities, because even though that would be awesome, it's not reality. This will cause many arguments I am sure, but our prayer is that one day you will look at something and be proud because you worked hard for it.
We promise to teach you that you will not always be first, second, or third. Sometimes you will be last...and sometimes you might not even get to participate. We will also teach you that second is not as good as first and last is, well, it's last. That's the way it works. If they were all the same, they wouldn't be numbered. You are going to be really, really good at some things, and you are going to suck at some things. Your mom sucks at math. I worked hard to pass my math classes and I made it through, but I did not win any math awards. In fact, I had to go to tutoring. I also did not like cheerleading, so I wasn't a cheerleader. We want you to know that we believe in you and with hard work, you can do or be anything you set your mind to. That is true. What is not true is that you can be valedictorian, a rapper, a professional football player, or anything else without the hard work and talent it takes to do those things. None of those things are free or easy. We promise to spend lots of time with you, helping you to figure out what you like and what you are good at, and we will help you to be the best at those things.
We promise to teach you to laugh a LOT. This has served me and your dad very well. We laugh at ourselves all the time, and have even found it very helpful to laugh in some really tough times. It is the best medicine, and we pray that we model that and we get to hear you giggle for a VERY long time.
We promise to teach you to love everyone...not just people who are "like" you. There are many, many people who will be different from you...whether it be color, religion, opinion, background...we want you to love and respect each of them, always remembering that's what God called us to do. You are not above anyone because they are different. Stand up for what you believe, but don't belittle someone in the process. God called us to love everyone, not just those in our own congregation. We are all humans, and we all have feelings. Please, never ever forget that.
We promise to do our best to give you things that you want, but we also promise to tell you no. We won't be able to give you everything. It is simply not financially feasible for us to give you all your wants, but more importantly, we don't think you should have everything you want...because that's not life either. Our prayer is that we supply your needs (the most being lots of love) and at least some of your wants!
Above all, we promise these things...prayer and love. Before you were conceived, we prayed for you. In the womb, we have prayed for you, talked to you, loved you so much already. We will continue to do those things. Your dad and I promise to pray for your health and happiness. We promise to love you unconditionally. We promise to be the best we can be. And in the meantime, always remember to cut us a little slack. We are not perfect, nor do we claim to be. We will make many, many mistakes, but one thing will remain...we will always love you, and I promise, that no matter what...we were thinking of you.
Sweet Love,
We simply cannot wait to meet you. Can't wait to see what you look like, if you are a boy or a girl...can't wait to hold you and kiss you and love you like we have never loved. For all of these things, we are beyond thrilled. In anticipation for your arrival, we have some anxiety, though. This world is not always filled with rainbows and cotton candy, and that scares us for you. Here are some promises we would like to make to you, each of them with the hopes that you will thrive and be happy:
We promise to love you even when we don't like you. I am sure there are days when you will drive us crazy. Days when honestly, we don't like you very much (and I am sure the feeling will be mutual). Even on those days, we will love you. We will look at you and remember what a precious gift you are...we will remember that God saw fit for us to be yours and you to be ours, and in that moment, we will love you more than anything...even if we don't like you.
I promise to love God first, then your daddy...because that is the way it was intended to be. There will be nights when you cry for me or him as we leave you with grandma for date night...and I will probably cry then too, but I will go and I will hold my relationship with your dad sacred and my first priority. There will be times later on in life when you will think (and probably say) how disgusting we are holding hands or kissing, but we will carry on. One day you will understand how important it is for us to show you how strong our love is for each other. See, in putting each other first, we are showing you how to love unconditionally and selflessly. We are showing you that our love for each other is what allows us to be the parents we are to you. And in doing so, we are honoring God for first placing us together as a couple, and then giving us you. I can't wait to kiss your daddy a trillion times over the course of your life, and I hope you gag :) But then, one day, I hope you meet the girl or boy of your dreams and it makes all the sense in the world.
We promise to teach you kindness, for it is perhaps the most powerful tool you possess. It's not a talent, a job, or really even all that difficult, but yet it yields so many rewards. If you cannot be anything else, we want you to be kind.
We promise to teach you that nothing comes for free. I promise to help you learn to do something, but once you have learned how, we expect you do it for yourself. This is how you learn responsibility and the value of hard work. We won't allow you to sit around and do nothing and expect money, cars, good grades, and opportunities, because even though that would be awesome, it's not reality. This will cause many arguments I am sure, but our prayer is that one day you will look at something and be proud because you worked hard for it.
We promise to teach you that you will not always be first, second, or third. Sometimes you will be last...and sometimes you might not even get to participate. We will also teach you that second is not as good as first and last is, well, it's last. That's the way it works. If they were all the same, they wouldn't be numbered. You are going to be really, really good at some things, and you are going to suck at some things. Your mom sucks at math. I worked hard to pass my math classes and I made it through, but I did not win any math awards. In fact, I had to go to tutoring. I also did not like cheerleading, so I wasn't a cheerleader. We want you to know that we believe in you and with hard work, you can do or be anything you set your mind to. That is true. What is not true is that you can be valedictorian, a rapper, a professional football player, or anything else without the hard work and talent it takes to do those things. None of those things are free or easy. We promise to spend lots of time with you, helping you to figure out what you like and what you are good at, and we will help you to be the best at those things.
We promise to teach you to laugh a LOT. This has served me and your dad very well. We laugh at ourselves all the time, and have even found it very helpful to laugh in some really tough times. It is the best medicine, and we pray that we model that and we get to hear you giggle for a VERY long time.
We promise to teach you to love everyone...not just people who are "like" you. There are many, many people who will be different from you...whether it be color, religion, opinion, background...we want you to love and respect each of them, always remembering that's what God called us to do. You are not above anyone because they are different. Stand up for what you believe, but don't belittle someone in the process. God called us to love everyone, not just those in our own congregation. We are all humans, and we all have feelings. Please, never ever forget that.
We promise to do our best to give you things that you want, but we also promise to tell you no. We won't be able to give you everything. It is simply not financially feasible for us to give you all your wants, but more importantly, we don't think you should have everything you want...because that's not life either. Our prayer is that we supply your needs (the most being lots of love) and at least some of your wants!
Above all, we promise these things...prayer and love. Before you were conceived, we prayed for you. In the womb, we have prayed for you, talked to you, loved you so much already. We will continue to do those things. Your dad and I promise to pray for your health and happiness. We promise to love you unconditionally. We promise to be the best we can be. And in the meantime, always remember to cut us a little slack. We are not perfect, nor do we claim to be. We will make many, many mistakes, but one thing will remain...we will always love you, and I promise, that no matter what...we were thinking of you.
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